*Sr. Maryam Caritas will not be taking on any more discerners at this time*
My name is Sister Maryam Caritas of the Child Jesus, and I am a sister with the Sisters of the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity. I give thanks and praise to God for His abundant goodness. He continues to shower blessings upon the whole world. I currently serve in Corpus Christi, Texas. The apostolate to which I am assigned is in parish ministries as the director of religious education. I also serve as the SOLT missionary volunteer coordinator in which I correspond with men and women who are interested in doing a period of service with our community (summer or year-long). Both of these apostolates give me tremendous joy.
In high school I had a radical conversion in which my heart did a 180 degree turn toward God. Prior to my conversion, I was a hurt and bitter teenager. I blamed God for all of the bad outcomes in my life, and allowed my heart to be closed to His love. As a teenager I found myself steeped in sadness and despair. In ninth grade, I was forced to attend a SENT-led high school confirmation retreat. It was then that my life dramatically changed. Throughout this particular retreat, I noticed how joyful the core team was and during adoration I asked myself the question, “Why are they so happy?” Honestly, I didn’t expect an answer as I was pondering the reality deep within, but I was shocked when I heard Christ respond, “Let me in?” It was then that I made a sincere prayer, “Jesus come into my life.” From that moment on my life was profoundly changed.
From the moment of my conversion, I had an interior knowledge that the Lord was calling me to religious life, or as I put it, to “be a nun.” Though I had a deep knowledge about His call, I was incredibly unsure if I could trust His prompting, or if I could be happy as a nun. It was in this struggle that I began praying a simple prayer: “Lord, if you want me to be a nun you have to give me the desire.” I didn’t vocalize this to anyone, as the call was so deep that I felt very sacred to share it. It wasn’t until college that I began to have a conversation about this with my spiritual director.
Throughout the course of my studies it became clear the Lord was inviting me to make the profound self-gift of becoming a religious sister. I realized that, since He is calling me to this life, He would be faithful in fulfilling the desires of my heart. It was then that I took the leap and entered religious life. I entered the aspirancy program with SOLT in 2005 and it has been a life of great adventure, growth, intimacy with the Lord, fun, service, community joy, sorrow, struggle, suffering, profound love, and joy. I am often asked “What is the hardest part of religious life,” and my answer is simple, “my own stubbornness.” I am praying for you and am assured that, in your continuing to be faithful to His promptings, God will lead you in the right path.